Beneath The Outer Shell

I haven't felt creative or have had any gread ideas in qite a long time. Close to 1o years have passed. I'm cracking up. I'm having panic attaacks initiating from years of obsessive death amxiety and the feelkinG seems to start within my chest. Over the past year, I've seen many doctors and and specialists and I've been trying to get ahandle of those "gotta do's when you're 40" soon things we procrastinate. I, being 44 and feeling left behind on a few issues and landmarks in a tradional life, are: I currently have a PCP, Psychiatrist, Cardiologist, ENT speecialy, Pulmonogolst and a neurologist. Serial. Funny I'm really not a hypocrondriac, or I don't think . My heart, my brain and memory issues, constent asthma and deviated septum (interestly enough because this will be the 2nd surgery to fix the devated septum. I got in a fight with Pete Roses' steroidial twin douche in Hawaii 1.0) and the intial straightened septum become out of line. I also got my colon checked and my hearing (different days and diffeerent stores). I passed both with flying colors on the hearing test (don't beleive it), even though I do have tenitsus with the ringing. She was all weird and didn't want me there. Still bafffles me Maybe I was the youngest to go there in a while. She shewed shew me out afterwards saying I had no hearing loss. Funny side part, she was indeed heard of hearing and I caught myself repeating my shortnend life story. So how does she know if I'm got hearing damage or not? My guy friends are worried about the colon check. I found a 5 foot anorexic asian woman to do it. I almost peed all over the room, but somehow made it to the bathroom. The doctors intern or whatever who witnessed the test, she froze up, looked terrified, and was out the door before the doctor was. Wisdom is nice, just wished you didn't have to go through such a long time to attain what you continuous need to move forward in the cosmos.

it's been a while since i have blogged about politics.  this entry may qualify as a politically charged blog, but we'll see.  i just watched the VP debate and i have to say it was the worst moderated debate i've ever seen.  Biden was such a obnoxious laughing fool, i even cringed whenever he started to smile.  he was allowed to interrupt at any time and was allowed more time in the long run.  rude doesn't even begin to describe Biden.  complete dumbass on all counts.

i recently reconnected with some old friends...and what do you know...they are liberals.  i don't get it.  i am ALWAYS in the minority when it comes to politics.  i have no friends on my side.  i try to make friends based on character, but maybe i should start by pre-judging them based on their political stance. once again, i'm in a room where someone thinks Bill Maher is an accurate account of the news.  i'm in a room where people are terrified of Global Warming (even though they changed the name to "Climate Change").  i'm in a room where people think the Constitution should be "re-written" because it "no longer applies" in todays American life.  basically...i'm in a room with MORONS!

i wish i could meet some of those people who hate politics so much that they support Ron Paul, or, back in the day, Ross Perot.  not my favorites, but when i met someone who supported one of those, i felt i could somewhat relate.  my friends really think that politics matter today.  i don't.  depending on which channel you watch, you will receive skewed news and commentary.  yes Fox news is conservative, but CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS are all skewed to the left.  it's overtly obvious at any time.  watch CNN for one political story, then hurry and change to Fox...and you'll hear completely different versions of the story.  this is a fact.  i can't stand to be in the same room with people who honestly think their politics are correct.  check out this fact:
BOTH SIDES ARE MANIPULATING YOU.
YOU ARE BEING DUPED AT ALL TIMES.

do you want higher taxes and bigger government? = vote for Obama
or
do you want lower taxes and smaller government? = vote for Romney

regardless, i can't afford to be liberal!  can you?


Edit:  if you just don't give a flip, don't vote at all.  i'm not.  it's already in the books.  Obama has won and i don't need an election to prove that.  it is literally a waste of time to engage in politics.  i'm tired of caring.  i'm tired of fighting.  i'm tired of being alone.

my brother is a genius.  he predicts everything and most of the time, he's correct.  not only does he predict the ending to a movie, but he does so quite early in the movie.  yes, earlier than you and i.  his claim to fame in my book is when he predicted the story and ending to Shutter Island after just seeing the trailer!  it was the first time we had seen a preview for Shutter Island and he already had it figured out.  he does this all the time.  it's amazing.

now i have jumped on board with bold predictions of my own.  aside from predicting Miami would beat Oklahoma in the NBA Finals last year (i predicted it during the preseason), i tried my best to one-up my brother.  and i think i may have matched him.  after seeing Inglorious Basterds, my brother and i asked ourselves what type of movie will Tarantino do next?  i quickly predicted Tarantino's next movie would be a western.  not that big of a deal if you look at what Tarantino does...he puts his mark on different film genres.  aside from sci-fi and film noire, they're aren't that many genres Tarantino hasn't attempted.  well, Tarantino is about to release his next movie on Christmas Day...it's a "western", that takes place in the south...so he's technically calling it a "southern".  but hey, i was correct.  my brother was impressed.  score.

now my brother is back with some very interesting predictions about the next James Bond film, Skyfall.  a quick background story here - starting when i was in elementary school, our father got us interested in James Bond, Alien, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The French Connection, Twilight Zone, Alfred Hitchcock, and much more.  plus, on another note, the only music my parents listened to were The Beatles.  i couldn't have chosen a better set of influences.  as a result my brother and i know every James Bond movie backwards and forwards...my brother even knows who sings each theme song (WTF?) now my brother doesn't search the net for spoilers, plot details, or basic information about a film he hasn't seen.  based on the trailer for Skyfall, my brother has predicted that M will be outed as James Bond's mother and that Bond's father will be revealed as well (possibly related to Javier Bardem's character).  talk about a ballsy prediction...but it would make sense.  Bond is said to be an orphan and the film series sure could use some more background information on the lead character.

i already told him that if he's correct...i'll vomit on him...then congratulate him appropriately.

these are some movies i saw a ways back.  i'll make this simple since none of these films are "great".

Total Recall is a bad remake.  Colin Farrell is the new Schwarzenegger in this science fiction disaster.  the orignal wasn't all that bad, but i do remember thinking there was major plot hole.  something didn't fit right, but i don't have the energy to try and understand it anymore.  now, the remake tries to be the same movie and attempts to outdo the original with incomprehensible action scenes.  this is a pet peeve of mine.  if you have action and fight scenes, you must allow to audience to understand what is exactly going on.  these days, too many movies show the hero with some advanced karate-kung fu-street fighting-Jason Bourne abilities...and you can't tell who is winning until the overly predictable fight is over.  the good guy wins, or the enemy gets away.  such a waste of time for the director and the audience.  now back to the film.  the film is too dark.  not as in bleak, but as in literally too dark to see all of the detail.  i imagine this is done to cover up shoddy CGI.  in comparison, the original is fantastic.  the Total Recall remake stinks.  don't ever watch it, even if you're bored.  stay away at all costs.

The Campaign is a really funny movie with Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis as opposing candidates vying to be elected to North Carolina's 14th District.  i saw this one on a movie hop, as usual, and i didn't think it would be very good.  it was a long shot.  i only liked Will Ferrell in Elf and have developed a strong dislike of his films and characters.  however, The Campaign is a brutal R-rated comedy without shame.  i found myself laughing out loud in the theatre for the first time in a LONG time.  i do realize what is funny and am amused by intelligent humor, but to actually laugh aloud in public is a rarity for me.  the only drawback in the entire movie are the intermittent scenes of serious dialogue.  one minute your laughing at raunchy humor, then the very next minute you are jilted back into serious mode.  it's a strange combination and i never got used to it.  my recommendation is to watch it if it's on TV, maybe go with Netflix...or if you really like the actors, see it.

The Bourne Legacy, in my world, is a two part film.  the first part works...the second part comes at you so quickly that you almost forget that the first part was actually really good.  i was stoked to see this one and the first 45 minutes were really cool and quite interesting.  there was no clear plot in the first half, but for me it didn't matter.  i knew the plot was coming.  i knew it involved some kind of drug...pills which are kept in what appears to be a used breath mint tin container.  the big problem with the movie is the character played by Rachel Weisz.  she's a doctor that gets mixed up with Aaron Cross (played by Jeremy Renner) and his march forward to understand how the government is using him.  Rachel Weisz is at her worst.  for what seems to be an eternity, she freaks out and screams her lines.  granted, she has been through a lot, but it's as if she is talking to herself.  there is no real connection or repor with Renner.  Rachel Weisz completely destroys the film and it's even embarrassing to watch.  i recommend the first 45 minutes, then just push fast forward and watch the final 15 minutes to clear things up.  just cover your ears whenever Weisz speaks.

Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master is a different type of film.  in fact, it's his most ambitious work to date.  as the director of Magnolia, There will be Blood, Boogie Nights, and Punch Drunk Love, Anderson attempts something more personal for the audience to enjoy.  it's about an alcoholic and torn WWII veteran (Joaquin Phoenix) who meets "The Master" (Philip Seymour Hoffman). The Master is said to be preaching the origin of Scientology (yes, L. Ron Hubbard).  "The Master" wants this war veteran to be a member of his group, called "The Cause", which is just another way looking at life and it's obstacles.  it's a spiritual coming of age story that mixes amateur existentialism with basic Scientology.  sounds like a good movie?  well, i kept getting distracted watching this one.  both the editing and the way the story was told just didn't work for me.  the pacing was way off.   i'll be honest...i didn't understand exactly what i had seen when the credits began to roll.  a second viewing would do wonders, but the problem is i have no urge or desire to see it again.  maybe one day.  some may hate me for this, but i say skip it and watch one of Andersons other films.

edit:  the main reason i was excited to see The Master was because Jonny Greenwood (lead guitarist of Radiohead) wrote the entire musical score.  on Anderson's last movie, There will be Blood, Greenwood also did the score.  both films excel tremendously in this category...however only There will be Blood is the one not to be missed.