Beneath The Outer Shell

people like to read a lot in America. well, i bet people in other countries like to read more based on the ignorance i experience everyday here...but still, there is a select type of person who is ALWAYS reading something. i, unfortunately, am not one of these people...but i do like to read certain select authors and the occasional highly recommended stranger. so, for the people in the world who read ANYTHING at all, i have to hand it to you. i envy a part of you and i am sometimes intimidated by you because of the fact that you read more than i do, and in my mind there is a possibility you are simply smarter than i am. for that, i sincerely applaud you.

however, there is a certain type of reader i cannot stand...and, yes as a matter of fact, i do enjoy judging these and other people i don't understand. hey, judging people is human nature. if you try and tell me you don't EVER judge someone, you're lying. anytime you put a label on anyone OR anything, you are in essence...judging. trust me.

ok, i'm currently watching The Da Vinci Code on Starz On-Demand. believe it or not, i haven't seen it yet. i know i know, what's wrong with me...catch this...i also just recently watched Munich for the 1st time last night! and, don't laugh, i still haven't seen Schindler's List. however, watching Ron Howard's take on Dan Brown's semi-intriguing ridiculous fantasy..i started to remember a specific trait about certain people i DON'T like in this world.

did ya catch people reading The Da Vinci Code? well, did you catch people reading The Da Vinci Code AFTER the movie came out or while the hype about the movie was HUGE?

bingo. that's a characteristic of my anti-type of person.

for some reason, when i see someone reading a book along with the hype of the movie, such as The Da Vinci Code, Memoirs Of A Geisha, The Scarlet Letter, American Beauty, or "insert Hollywood Blockbuster based on a book here"...i seem to get a little more than irritated. in fact, i get down right angry at the type of person who jumps on the bandwagon with the rest of the sheep in America; and most of the time, this person seems to be proud of it. i mean, people like to carry their book around with them everywhere, as if it's a statement of who they are as a person...or as a symbol of how smart they wanna appear to be to everyone around them. people may not ever even read the damn book outside their own home, however they'll be damned if they leave the house without it.

i remember a co-worker once reading Memoirs Of A Geisha, AFTER the hype of that POS movie came out...and i remembered my ex-girlfriend reading...you got it, The Da Vinci Code when everyone was all up in arms about it. and what do ya know...both of these people pissed me off too. coincidence? i think not!

it's also the SAME type of person who buys albums popularized by MTV and radio, and STILL finds their favorite track to be THE one song that is played over and over again until your ears bleed for mercy. being a Smashing Pumpkins fan in 2007, i do my best not to cringe directly at these people. for example, at the last Pumpkins concert i went to in Atlanta, a girl and her boyfriend sitting next to me showed up about 30 minutes late. they watched the concert for about an hour from the 5th row in the pit at the Fox Theatre...then the girl nudges me and asks in an annoyingly high pitched voice, "did they play Today yet?" i couldn't believe my ears. for one, i can easily go my entire life without EVER hearing another Smashing Pumpkins song mutilated by constant airplay. i looked at her for en extended moment, bit my lip and said politely, "Yeah, it was the first song they played". the smile shining from the metal braces on her teeth turned to a frown of sheer disappointment instantaneously. her and her boyfriend, who got into a fight immediately after that, left about 10 minutes later. hell, i was STOKED the Pumpkins got rid of that song at the start of the show! it's not that i hate these songs, it's just that they've been driven into my head more times than my parents birthdays. the same can be said about any overplayed radio song. i was a DJ for a few years and good god almighty help me! seriously, songs like My Sharona, The YMCA, or any song known to man by Matchbox 20, or The Goo Goo Dolls makes me wanna get an early start planning my own personal suicide bomb attack against soon to be president-elect Hillary Clinton. GOD HELP ME NOW!

i'm not quite sure what's wrong with me on these issues i have with certain people, i think maybe it's their lack of originality, i'm not totally sure, but i sure can pinpoint these people from a mile away.

so if the book you're confidently holding as you walk down the street has a big label on the cover that reads, "Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture", or "Now A Major Motion Picture"...please...save yourself from watching a grown man cry, either hide the book, or turn around and walk the other way.


legal note: i'm joking about my assassinate Hillary Clinton statement. please, try and arrest me...my life is boring anyway