Beneath The Outer Shell

holy crap! i just watched 2 more movies online here that made me really really happy. i don't know where to start, but i guess i'll start with the BIG surprise feel good movie.

Wristcutters: A Love Story is an outstanding movie. i was a little skeptical when i first read about it, but i was still interested. on paper, the movie doesn't seem like it would work...at all. the best surprise is, that it does!

Wristcutters is set in an afterlife reserved for people who commit suicide. this afterlife is a lot like reality, except no one can smile, there are no stars in the sky, and a few other surprises i won't mention. the film stars Patrick Fugit, (the kid from Almost Famous), Tom Waits, and my future wife...Shannyn Sossamon. these 3 characters find themselves in this bizarre and gloomy afterlife because they "off'ed" themselves for various reasons in the real world. they're each looking for something different in this afterlife, but they decide to take a road trip together.

surprisingly, the film was released by After Dark Films...i say "surprisingly" because this is a GREAT movie. After Dark Films has been the culprit behind less than desirable crappy horror films, like the masterpiece Captivity. for a review of Captivity i wrote, go here. so i can say that with Wristcutters, After Dark Films has renewed my interest.

back to the movie though. Wristcutters is a HILARIOUS dark comedy. it's very well written, well paced, and even though the story may be a tad bit predictable, the movie is full of surprises and keeps you interested. when the movie was over, i couldn't stop smiling and i just HAD to write this review ASAFP. if ya like the idea, and you're in the mood for strange but completely original and cute love story along the lines of...let's say, Being John Malkovich...see this movie! it's a keeper!


now onto the other movie i watched...No Country For Old Men.

No Country For Old Men proves that the Coen Brothers are STILL...the shit. if ya haven't heard about this one, i don't know what rock you've been hiding under. it's winning awards left and right, and will definitely take up some more at the 65th Golden Globe Awards on January 13th, 2008.

all i can say is...believe the hype! the fact that it's such an AWESOME movie doesn't surprise me because of the consistent 4 star reviews it's getting. after seeing it, it's one of my favorite Coen Brothers films and goes right up there with Fargo, The Big Lebowski, Raising Arizona, and Barton Fink. for me personally, it's hard to name one of their previous films that's CLEARLY better than No Country For Old Men. this film is creepy, suspenseful, fascinating, unpredictable, extremely intelligent...and the ending will more than likely piss you off. and those, my friends, are the basics of EVERY good Coen Brothers film to date.

so there ya have it...a refreshingly fantastic original love story, and another prefect Coen Brothers film. BOTH are 4 star movies!

i dream every night. well, actually...we ALL dream every night. even people who claim they "don't dream" in essence, DO dream every night. they just may not remember them.

i don't remember the majority of my dreams. ever since i started my latest medication, my dreams have been a little "out there". if you're curious on what i mean about being "out there" just read one of my old blogs here

last night was no different...except that i woke up with a vivid memory of visiting a zoo the night before in my dreams. it was great! it wasn't like an average zoo where the animals are caged up and visitors are limited to where they can go...it was more like a game park-zoo, where you could walk around on rocks, up mountains, around aquariums, and basically anywhere you wanted to go to get a better view of the animals.

at one point in the dream, i was with some friends from Hawaii and some buddies from the Peace Corps and we were walking on top of some huge boulders that were sticking out of this very large aquarium. you could walk on the boulders so you could look down and see the fish in the crystal clear blue water. thousands and thousands of fish swam below us...BIG fish and even BIGGER fish. there was even a catfish the size of your average SUV swimming right below me! my friends and i were maneuvering ever so elegantly around the boulders and rocks. it was slightly scary because of the size of the fish we saw underneath, but we were having fun.

then, i saw something that REALLY scared me. there was a VERY large tiger swimming in the water! he occasionally climbed up on the boulders where we were! at one point i had to sneak around this big boulder so the tiger wouldn't see me. it was quite difficult to keep my footing, as to not fall in the water.

i thought he was gone and let out a sigh of relief and a laugh to my friends, "wow! that was close!"

then i looked back...the tiger had heard me talking and he immediately jumped back at my direction at lightning speed. my friends and i were on the same boulder, but i jumped over to a desk that was outside the aquarium. that's right...a desk. yes, like the one you work at, in a cubicle, with a computer.

i got away, but i looked back and my friends were stuck. unfortunately, they weren't so lucky. the last thing i remember was seeing them getting pounced on by this HUGE tiger.

i woke up and felt bad...for leaving my friends behind. i'm not sure what i could have done, but i wasn't able to do anything to help them.

back in reality...i get up, take a shower, eat lunch, and go turn on the TV.

i go to Fox News and i see the ongoing top story: a HUGE tiger escaped from a zoo in San Fransisco last night. one person was killed and two others were mauled. in my dream, i had 3 other people with me when the tiger came into the picture.

pretty weird, huh? for details on the actual story, go here

cue Twilight Zone music

ok, i'm bored. it's the holidays, i'm broke, and i have nothing to do to keep me entertained. i have decided to start an extra career in the art of "scambaiting".

if you remember, a few years ago (and for as long as email has been around) there were a series of 419 Nigerian scams hitting this country through email. the emails usually included 3 things, 1) a rather detailed sob story, 2) a large amount of cash (and when i mean large, i'm talking 10's of millions of dollars), and 3) asking for your help, in which you will be reimbursed in the 10's of millions of dollars.

"scambaiting" is just what the word describes it to be. you are, in essence, baiting the scam for as long as possible. the point? to waste the scammers time, energy and sometimes money so they cannot scam other people during the time you are screwing with them.

think about this. this is a LOT of fun, and there are numerous websites that will help you become a professional scambaiter...including what guestbooks to sign in order for you to get your initial scam letter!

i think the best one, by far, is 419eater. if they didn't start the whole scambaiting practice, they were sure close.

in 419eater you will find some of the funniest things and pictures you have ever come across. it's mind boggling and you just have to visit the sight and look around for a few minutes and understand what it's all about. the best thing to do is go to the site 419eater and click on "letters archive" link at the top and start reading some of the entries from the guy who calls himself "Shiver Metimbers". you will find the complete email exchanges between a real scammer and a real person screwing around with them to the nth degree!

this is a RIOT! i'm telling you, this is VERY cool and quite entertaining.

now if a part of you thinks this is WRONG, just remember these people will take every dime you have in a heartbeat and they will kill their brother for their bank account info, if it wasn't already empty. Scambaiting is NOT wrong, especially in this case. hell, if you ask me, MSNBC's "Predator: To Catch A Thief" is worse than this, and i agree with Chris Hanson. so, in a way, if you are NOT scambaiting, you are actually in essence helping and allowing other people to get scammed out of their life savings. hey, you gotta be pro-active to fight online terrorism.

one of the funniest things you can do with these scammers is to get them to send you pictures of themselves holding a sign of your choosing...for identification purposes. some of the things written on the signs are HILARIOUS! think, most of these people hardly know english, so the options to make them look stupid for your entertainment is virtually endless. one time, this scambaiter even had the scammer put a fish on top of his head with a loaf of break in his mouth while holding a bottle of wine. it's childish, yet ingenues!

i'm going to start this ASAFP! i just today got my 3 initial scam letters. 1)a recent orphan who has $27 million to share with me, 2)a 58 year old woman who recently lost her husband and has a plan for me to share $10 million with her, and 3)a guy by the name of Koffa (creepy) who has $12.5 million in unclaimed cash, and i can get 30% of that!

holy shiznit! i'm going to be rich! woot woot!

when i was a kid, for years my brother would joke to me about my favorite baseball player. a man with arms the size of my waist...a man by the name of Jose Canseco.

"he's on steroids! just look at him!" my brother said, so sure of his direct accusations. me, sitting there getting angry, trying to defend my top baseball role model, had nothing else do but exclaim back with a vengeance, "no he isn't...shut up!"

well, as it turned out he was right. just how did he know? think about it...this was back in the late 1980's. WAY before the internet, and WAY before ANY kind of hint of steroid use in the sport of baseball. my brother amazes me sometimes with the things he knows, or thinks he knows. most of the time, he's right. looking back, i guess it wasn't rocket science. the man clearly looked juiced.

today, we have a myriad of professional sport athletes breaking long lasting records on a regular basis. i'm talking about EVERY sport...from Cycling, to Soccer, to Basketball, to Tennis, to Hockey, to Badminton, to Football, to Wiffleball, to Ping Pong.

face it...there is a very wide use of steroids in EVERY sport on the planet. for some, this may be a hard pill to swallow, no pun intended. i have been trying to come to terms with the fact that there is a high likelihood my favorite players and favorites teams are involved somewhat in the current steroid scandal.

i mean, who wants to admit that their favorite player may feel the need to take drugs, that make their genitals smaller, just in order to compete. it's a sad sad realization..but if you think that your favorite player, sport, or team cannot be involved...think again.

today, Jose Canseco even said on a daytime talk show that Alex Rodriquez is "not who he says he is". i don't like A-Rod, but the man has been an avid spokesman against steroid use in baseball. Canseco has NOTHING to gain from lying, and yes...he has nothing to lose either...but why wouldn't A-Rod be taking steroids? people call him the best player in the world, even though baseball is mainly an American fascination.

remember Lance Armstrong failed at least one drug test. it's all the same with these guys...they all say one of 3 things in retaliation: 1) "i have never used steroids!", or 2) "the test was wrong!", and my personal favorite, 3) "i was set up!".

RIGHT!

i have lost ALL respect for EVERY professional athlete. now i'm a HUGE Boston Celtics fan, and this year...quite frankly, they are kicking ass in the NBA. this comes after an off season where an NBA referee was found guilty of gambling, cheating, and fixing the scores of NBA games he officiated. nice. ya know, my brother also always told me that the NBA referees were being paid off. bingo. man, you've really gotta hand it to my brother. he just KNOWS. uhh, Sylvia Browne who???

my point is...i don't know who to trust anymore. i'm still gonna watch the games and pay attention to every sport, out of habit. but nothing surprises me anymore regarding people who make millions of dollars. they are ALL scum. they ALL make too much money for very little "work". this also goes for actors and politicians too.

so, if you think that your favorite player or favorite team isn't involved or is NO WAY associated with unfair practices. think again. no one's perfect.

people like to read a lot in America. well, i bet people in other countries like to read more based on the ignorance i experience everyday here...but still, there is a select type of person who is ALWAYS reading something. i, unfortunately, am not one of these people...but i do like to read certain select authors and the occasional highly recommended stranger. so, for the people in the world who read ANYTHING at all, i have to hand it to you. i envy a part of you and i am sometimes intimidated by you because of the fact that you read more than i do, and in my mind there is a possibility you are simply smarter than i am. for that, i sincerely applaud you.

however, there is a certain type of reader i cannot stand...and, yes as a matter of fact, i do enjoy judging these and other people i don't understand. hey, judging people is human nature. if you try and tell me you don't EVER judge someone, you're lying. anytime you put a label on anyone OR anything, you are in essence...judging. trust me.

ok, i'm currently watching The Da Vinci Code on Starz On-Demand. believe it or not, i haven't seen it yet. i know i know, what's wrong with me...catch this...i also just recently watched Munich for the 1st time last night! and, don't laugh, i still haven't seen Schindler's List. however, watching Ron Howard's take on Dan Brown's semi-intriguing ridiculous fantasy..i started to remember a specific trait about certain people i DON'T like in this world.

did ya catch people reading The Da Vinci Code? well, did you catch people reading The Da Vinci Code AFTER the movie came out or while the hype about the movie was HUGE?

bingo. that's a characteristic of my anti-type of person.

for some reason, when i see someone reading a book along with the hype of the movie, such as The Da Vinci Code, Memoirs Of A Geisha, The Scarlet Letter, American Beauty, or "insert Hollywood Blockbuster based on a book here"...i seem to get a little more than irritated. in fact, i get down right angry at the type of person who jumps on the bandwagon with the rest of the sheep in America; and most of the time, this person seems to be proud of it. i mean, people like to carry their book around with them everywhere, as if it's a statement of who they are as a person...or as a symbol of how smart they wanna appear to be to everyone around them. people may not ever even read the damn book outside their own home, however they'll be damned if they leave the house without it.

i remember a co-worker once reading Memoirs Of A Geisha, AFTER the hype of that POS movie came out...and i remembered my ex-girlfriend reading...you got it, The Da Vinci Code when everyone was all up in arms about it. and what do ya know...both of these people pissed me off too. coincidence? i think not!

it's also the SAME type of person who buys albums popularized by MTV and radio, and STILL finds their favorite track to be THE one song that is played over and over again until your ears bleed for mercy. being a Smashing Pumpkins fan in 2007, i do my best not to cringe directly at these people. for example, at the last Pumpkins concert i went to in Atlanta, a girl and her boyfriend sitting next to me showed up about 30 minutes late. they watched the concert for about an hour from the 5th row in the pit at the Fox Theatre...then the girl nudges me and asks in an annoyingly high pitched voice, "did they play Today yet?" i couldn't believe my ears. for one, i can easily go my entire life without EVER hearing another Smashing Pumpkins song mutilated by constant airplay. i looked at her for en extended moment, bit my lip and said politely, "Yeah, it was the first song they played". the smile shining from the metal braces on her teeth turned to a frown of sheer disappointment instantaneously. her and her boyfriend, who got into a fight immediately after that, left about 10 minutes later. hell, i was STOKED the Pumpkins got rid of that song at the start of the show! it's not that i hate these songs, it's just that they've been driven into my head more times than my parents birthdays. the same can be said about any overplayed radio song. i was a DJ for a few years and good god almighty help me! seriously, songs like My Sharona, The YMCA, or any song known to man by Matchbox 20, or The Goo Goo Dolls makes me wanna get an early start planning my own personal suicide bomb attack against soon to be president-elect Hillary Clinton. GOD HELP ME NOW!

i'm not quite sure what's wrong with me on these issues i have with certain people, i think maybe it's their lack of originality, i'm not totally sure, but i sure can pinpoint these people from a mile away.

so if the book you're confidently holding as you walk down the street has a big label on the cover that reads, "Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture", or "Now A Major Motion Picture"...please...save yourself from watching a grown man cry, either hide the book, or turn around and walk the other way.


legal note: i'm joking about my assassinate Hillary Clinton statement. please, try and arrest me...my life is boring anyway