Beneath The Outer Shell

i saw my shrink today. this is the second one i've seen since i've been home from Africa (the first one was a REAL douche). i think i'm in love with her...not really, but kinda. she's the most honest and direct doctor i've spoken with (plus she doesn't have a wedding ring). anyway, after today's discussion over the fact that the latest (lexapro) of many anti-depressants have been nothing but harmful and making me feel MUCH worse, she said i had 2 options: 1) try another one, which would have been my 7th one in just 4 months, or, 2) try the holistic approach, like st. johns wort and valerian root with the advice from an M.D who specializes in holistic medicine. i chose the latter.

it's funny...when i got home from Africa, i knew i needed something strong because i haven't been this low, ever. i totally refused to even consider the natural/herbal approach many of my good friends had suggested. i don't know if these will work either, but i can't find anything on the internet suggesting any negative reactions or bad side effects. so, what the hell! i'll give it a shot!

back to my shrink though...she said if she were me, she would also choose the holistic approach at this point, which means i would no longer need her services. she had no reason to schedule a follow up and told me i knew where to find her if i needed her. WOW! i had only seen her twice so far and she honestly wanted nothing other than to actually help me. she also said that she intends to get involved and eventually change over to the holistic medicine world because she sees way too often the negative side effects of these highly toxic prescription psychiatric drugs. and it just so happened that she also had a photocopy of a business card in my file, and she honestly didn't remember how it got there. the photo copied business card? it was for an M.D in Atlanta who specializes in holistic medicine.

"funny how things all work out", i said...she agreed and sent me on my way. i wanted to kiss her, but i thought that might not be the best thing to do...plus my nose has already been broken once already.

so my point is, doctors have to make a living...and the doctors i've seen in my life always want you to come back for a "follow up" or a "check-up". hell...if they "fix" you completely, you have no reason to return, and they don't make any more money off you or your insurance company. i hate to say it, but the truth is that everything is a business in the US. the only reason people do anything is to to make money, because you need money to survive...now i believe in capitalism, and i do think it's the best form of government ever conceived (yet). however, greed can and will get a hold of anyone at anytime without notice as a result of living in a capitalistic society...but occasionally, you will find that one sparkling gem who literally just wants to help you get better.